Review of Your Child is not Broken by Heidi Mavir
The subtitle of the final chapter of Heidi Mavir’s book “Your Child is not Broken” is “Permission to Become ‘That’ Parent”, a phrase that to me actually sums up the whole book.
If you are at the start of your journey with a SEND child, trying to navigate the system to find out what support is available, not wanting to chase people too many times as you don’t want to be seen as pushy, then this is the book for you. If you are further along, have already grown weary with the endless meetings with professionals, are fed up of being fobbed off by people minimising your child’s needs, then this is also the book for you! Heidi’s retelling of her and her autistic son Theo’s story gives an introduction to the challenges that parents of SEND children are likely to face, along with practical suggestions of what to say to professionals who just don’t seem to ‘get it’. I’ve been ‘that’ parent for nearly ten years now and while I’ve made my peace with how I’m sure I’m perceived by professionals, it never stops being exhausting. You never stop questioning whether you are doing the right thing and when you are tired and frustrated after yet another meeting it’s easy to wonder if maybe the professionals are right, maybe your concerns aren’t valid and you should just give their way a try. In those moments this book is a well needed reminder that it’s not you, it’s not your child, it’s the system that’s broken.
Heidi is incredibly honest about everything she has been through and I found her openness at describing her initial misunderstandings about autism to be refreshing. As a parent it’s hard to look back at the things we did wrong before we knew better and it can be easy to think that everyone else always gets it right. Heidi describes how she confronted her unconscious biases around autism and disability and leaves the reader feeling inspired to do the same, rather than feeling personally blamed or attacked for having those views to start with.
“Your Child is not Broken” is an easy and sometimes sweary read. Reading it felt like having my best friend sitting next to me, patiently reassuring me that I do know what’s best for my child and encouraging me to keep fighting for the support they need. Heidi speaks with the authority someone can only attain through living through that situation themselves and she validates the wide range of emotions felt by SEND parents by showing that we are not alone in feeling as we do. Thank you so much Heidi for sharing your story with us, I’ll be recommending “Your Child is not Broken” to all the SEND parents I know!